“It is 6 in the morning and
my maid came and wakes me up as usual. She helped me in getting freshen up and changed
my clothes. I started my regular meditation session. Usually my “Inner Self”
guides me how to spend the whole day as spending the whole day even is a big
task for me now days. Today my “Inner
Self” seems to be happy. I asked the reason. She told me that today is the last
day of my life. After long I felt like jumping with joy and my heart jumped
though my body remains calm.
“So how you are going to
spend last day of this life?” my “Inner Self “asked
“I want that today should get
over as soon as possible. But I know it is not going to happen. Clock will not
move faster for me. ” I told
“But before the end of this
life I want to forget few things. “ I again told her with a smile after long
“I want to forget the pain
my mother undergone to give me birth fighting against all odds as I was the
fourth girl child in the family and my father & grandmother did not wanted
me to see the world. They tried a lot, but failed to do so due to my mother. I
wish I would have never borne.”
“I want to forget the night
when my uncle sexually abused me first. I wished I would have told the same to
my mother when it happened first time. But she was not there at that time. She
was my only savior but God loved her much more than me and called her to him. I
want to forget all such nights when he abused me as if I am an object. I really hate my teens..…starting from 13 to 19, real dark period of
my life. I wish I would have never grown.
“I want to forget the day
my In-laws tried to burn me. I was burned 20% as somehow my neighbors saw me
and saved me. I should have given statement to the police against my In laws
but my husband somehow convinced me and told me that he will disconnect totally
from them. I want to forget the office party where I was raped by the senior
officials of my husband’s office. My husband planned everything just for
promoting his career graph. I wished I would not have believed him. I wish I
would have never married.”
“I want to forget the day I
diagnosed with this deadly diseases know as AIDS. I wish I would have never
gone to that so called office party. “
But today I am happy as
this pain is going to end in next few hours. Though pain due to this disease which
accompanied me for last 3 years is far less than the pain I experienced from
the day I borne till I got separated from my Husband.
Now you go as I want to spend
last few hours of my life listening to this song on loop….finally this song
became quite apt for me….
“Stop now the speeding
clock on Sunday…Cause I don't wanna go another week”**
My “Inner self” smiled…and
that to for the first time and I smiled back…..but the last time in
this life.
**Link of the song:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-9Maw4QVqo
This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.
